Lawyer Jokes

---

 

1  96 97 98 99 100  144

After years of hard work, Angie took her first vacation on a luxury cruise ship. While sitting in a deck chair, she recognized a former high school classmate, a long-lost friend from her old hometown.

She crossed the deck and shook hands with her friend and said: “Hello, Angela. I haven’t seen you in years. What are you doing these days?”

“I’m practicing law,” whispered Angela. “But don’t tell my mother. She still thinks I’m a prostitute.”

---

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."

---

Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a trampoline?

A: You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.

---

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.

---

 

1  96 97 98 99 100  144