Lawyer Jokes

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A defense attorney who was cross-examining a pathologist asked, "Since you didn't listen for a heartbeat and you didn't check for breathing, how were you sure the man was really dead when you signed the death certificate?"

"Well, let me put it this way," said the pathologist. "The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

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A young boy walked up to his father and asked, “Dad, does a lawyer ever tell the truth?”

The father thought for a moment. “Yes, Son,” he replied. “Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case.”

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Tom: I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money.

Jerry: Why do you say that?

Tom: Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25.00'.

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When a lawyer tells his clients he has a “sliding fee schedule,” what he means is that after he bills you, it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

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