Lawyer Jokes

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The lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father’s firm.

At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father’s office and said, “Father, Father, in one day I broke the accident case that you’ve been working on for 10 years!”

His father responded, “You idiot, we’ve been living on the funding of that case for 10 years!”

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Malborn sat in his attorney’s office: “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer said.

“Give me the bad news first.”

“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”

“That’s the bad news?” asked Malborn incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”

“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”

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A lawyer awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around him. He asked the nurse sitting in the room, "Why are the curtains closed; is it night?"

"There's a big fire across the street," the nurse replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

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Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: “I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years.”
Herman: “Hmm. I killed a man, and I’m here for 3 days.”
George: “*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???”
Herman: “Yeah, it was a lawyer.”

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