Lawyer Jokes

---

 

1  61 62 63 64 65  144

Keep that a secret After many years of hard work, Joe rewarded himself with a long, luxurious stay at an exclusive Carribean resort. While relaxing on the beach, he was surprised to see a former high school classmate who he hadn't seen since they graduated. His old friend had been something of a "burnout" in high school, and this was the last place Joe expected to see him. Joe approached the man, and seized his hand. "Pete, it's Joe. From high school. It's sure been a long time. You look great! You must really be doing okay for yourself."
I am, whispered Pete. "I am a partner with a very successful law firm. But don't tell mother. She got the idea that I was a drug dealer back when I was in high school, and she would be terribly disappointed if she figured out how I really make my money."

---

When you know you must really be drunk
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.

A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, the man told the bartender he’d had enough.

The bartender said, "I’ve got to ask you. What’s with the pocket business?"

"Oh," said the man, "I have my lawyer’s picture in here, and when he starts to look honest, I know I’ve had enough."

---

4 Surgeons

4 surgeons were in the doctors lounge talking.

The first one said," I like operating on librarians because when you open them up, their parts are alphebetized." The second one said," I prefer working on Accountants because you open them up, and everything is numbered." The third Surgeon said," I really like operating on mechanics because they understand if you have parts left over."

The Fourth said," I like working on Lawyers." everone else asked why?.

He said, " You open them up, and you find they are spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangable!"

---

A man called his law firm and asked the
receptionist if he could speak to
his lawyer, Mr. Smith.

She replied that she was sorry, but his lawyer was dead.

The next day the man called again wanting to speak with Mr. Smith.

The receptionist again said that she was sorry, but he was dead.

The next day, the man rang again and
and asked if he could talk to his lawyer
Mr. Smith.

The receptionist said that she was
sorry but she had already told him a
hundred times that he was dead.

The man replied, I know that, I just like hearing it!

---

 

1  61 62 63 64 65  144