Lawyer Jokes

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How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?

Three–one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

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Which one do you support?

Have you seen the current remake of the movie "Cape Fear?"

It's about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer.

The question is, while watching the movie, for whom do you root?

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Shipwreck

Joke submitted by: Anonymous

Three men, a doctor, a minister, and a lawyer take a fishing boat out onto the ocean. A terrible storm arises, and the boat takes a great quantity of water. Fearing that they will all die, they decide that one of them must jump into the shark infested waters so that the other two may live.


The minister volunteers, saying that God will take care of him. He jumps in and is immediately eaten by the sharks.


More water comes into the boat. They decide that one of the two remaining people must jump in. The doctor says "I have spent my entire life healing people, certainly I will survive the ocean." He jumps in and is immediately eaten by the sharks.


A person is walking along the shore line. He sees the boat being pushed by sharks onto the shore. It reaches the shore, and the lawyer steps out calmly. The man runs to the lawyer, and says "hey, what was that all about?"


The lawyer says "Professional courtesy."

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A jury commissioner received a reply in response to a jury summons. It said: I would be most happy to serve, but first you will have to make arrangements for my release from jail.

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