Lawyer Jokes

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Minister and Lawyer in Heaven
A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates, Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.

"Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, the keys to our finest penthouse suite."

"This is unfair!" cried the minister.

"Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've ever seen."

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A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"

"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"

"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

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Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.

The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."

Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

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