Lawyer Jokes

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A couple were sitting in the lawyers office working on their will. The lawyer tells them that they should discuss end of life issues, including how they want to be treated. The man turns to his wife and says, “Please promise me that if I am ever dependent only on machines and bottled fluids to keep me alive, you will take action and put an end to it right away.” So when they got home, his obedient wife went straight to the TV and unplugged it, then took his beer and poured it down the drain.

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Two lawyers are in a bank when two robbers burst in. While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other one lines the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, then proceeds to take their wallets, jewelry, etc. While this is going on, one lawyer jams something into the other lawyers hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers, “What is this?” The first lawyer replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.”

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Lawyer: Someone who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a 'brief.'

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Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.

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