Lawyer Jokes

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One juror overheard saying to another..."You'll notice that neither the prosecutor or defense attorney swore to tell the truth!"

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If you see a lawyer on bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?

That might be your bicycle.

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A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?

A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?

A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer — do you have a locker room in the police station — a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?

A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?

A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?

A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

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A man and a woman were conversing at a party. The woman said: "Lawyers are jerks."

The man responded: "I take offense to that remark."

"Why," said the woman. "Are you a lawyer?"

"No," he responded: "I'm a jerk."

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