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Lawyer Jokes


 
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.


Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites?

New Jersey got first choice.


What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand.


Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer number two's hand.

Without looking down, lawyer number two whispers, "What is this?" to which lawyer number one replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."


 
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Dear Your Honor,
Dear Judge,

Do you ever experience any physical danger in the courtroom?  You do deal with all those criminals, right? 

Sincerly,

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