Lawyer Jokes

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A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian.

His lawyer argued, "Your Honor, my client has been driving for over twenty-five years."

"Your Honor," the plaintiff's lawyer retorted, "if this case is going to be judged by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over sixty years!"

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A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets, a car was involved in an accident. As expected, a large crowd gathered. Going by instinct, the lawyer was eager to get to the injured, but he couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

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When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense lawyer.

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A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"

The housewife replies: "Four!".

The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."

The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

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