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Dear Judged
Healthy Lunar TanDear Judge,

I am sporting a sweet lunar tan from the incadescent lights and the constant 72-degree weather on Cubicle Beach. Even though the days are getting longer, I am getting pastier. Any suggestions for the Ghost of Billables Past, Present and Future?

Also, I can actually HEAR my ass getting fatter in this chair. I fear I am starting to look like my secretary (pear). Help a brother out (and don't give me that "Get out and exercise" schtick).
Thanks,
LookingUp
a.k.a. "Fatback MoonGlow"


LookingUp
posted 2006-03-01 17:12:08


Dear LookingUp,

Try hunting. But not animals, thats just cruel. Try hunting human beings for sport.

Its a great way to shed a few pounds and also to feel that God-like exhilaration of taking the life of a fellow human being into your hands.
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Dear Judged


Dear Your Honor,
Dear Judge,

Do you ever experience any physical danger in the courtroom?  You do deal with all those criminals, right? 

Sincerly,

Concerned Bailiff's Mommy



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