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Dear Judged
Burning Questions...Dear Judged:

I write to thank you for the lovely gift which you have bestowed upon me -- a MINI I-pod, which arrived safely at my residence yesterday. It's so positively beautiful - words cannot describe. Thank you.

Now that I have sufficiently kissed ass, I have some questions for you:

Why is it there is no law against "deadbeat parents" (meaning parents who are physically non-existent in their kids' lives) that when one abandons his/her child for over a period of one year, they are allowed to come back and turn everyone's life upside down? That should not be allowed!

That being said,

Is it truly a "crime" to shoot an ex-husband? LOL Some, like me, may term it as "justifiable". Seems to me if the person's an asshole, then the shooter would be doing the community a favor. Seems to me when a Magistrate states for the court record that the ex is INDEED an asshole, that should give one (me) "indirect permission" to kill the son of a bitch (my ex, not Magistrate -- Magistrate should get a gift lol)

Someone needs to write a thesis on this. I'm not sure I could do it justice, but someone who could, should.

Oh, and one further question: Why is it food preservatives do NOT make us live longer, thus, preserving us?

Oh, and: How old IS David Bowie - REALLY?

Do you have any idea as to the place and time of the last Elvis Presley sighting? (he's not really dead, you know)

Signed,
December Girl
in Ohio

PS: The voices in my head all think you're cool - you can hear them too, can't you?




December Girl
posted 2006-02-23 09:31:14


Dear sallykr,

Woah, woah, woah. You're all over the place, Sally. We're glad you liked the iPod Shuffle. We hope you get a lot of use out of it.

Regarding Bowie, I guess he's got to be in his late 50s. We aren't sure. But his real name is David Robert Hayward-Jones. Fun fact!

Elvis is dead. We hate to be the one to break the news to you. He'd be like 80 if he was still alive. Let's let the old bastard rest in peace.

About your ex-husband, we cannot condone any criminal activity. Try working out your anger by doing some jumping jacks, screaming into a pillow, or experimenting with hard drugs.
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Dear Judged


Dear Your Honor,
Dear Judge,

Do you ever experience any physical danger in the courtroom?  You do deal with all those criminals, right? 

Sincerly,

Concerned Bailiff's Mommy



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