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Dear Peepin’ Tom

Tell me this: why are you trying to make the move from law firm to the bench?  Tired of making your own hours, overbilling clients, and chasing ambulances?  I would think twice before making a move to a “lifetime” position (and no, this one doesn’t involve women’s television programming). 

Given the, um, troubled history of the surname Thomas and its now attendant sexual harassment cottage industry, you’d do well to stay put.  Keep asking interns to pick up your dropped pencils and mandating higher heels and shorter skirts—you’ll still be able to get confirmed to the bench later if you really want it—the old boy’s network is still alive and kickin’ last I checked (remember when Bush and his anti-choice pals signed off on the ban on late-term abortion- it was a virtual Who’s Who of Who’s Not Female!)  Just keep it to yourself when you feel like making inquiries like, “Who’s pubic hair is on my coke can?” or “Does  this thong make me look bigger?” 

The Judge

http://www.firstthings.com/onthesquare/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/rc scotus.jpg