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9.00
9.00
8.69
8.40
8.33
8.25
8.13
8.03
8.00
8.00
2.70
2.86
3.09
3.12
3.12
3.30
3.35
3.46
3.47
3.65
Dear Judged > Archive
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Dear Judged
Dear New De JudgeYou are replacing the Dear De Judge, who will be sorely missed. De Judge is
responsible for what is the best website on Planet Earth. What promises and
assurances can you give us? Do you promise to be a pig? Do you promise to
rule with complete arbitrariness and capriciousness? Please tell us all
about you, and your dimensions, height, weight, etc. Thank you,
Richard X. Brown.
rbrown
posted 2006-08-15 17:39:49
Dear rbrown,
Dear Mr. Brown,
Firstly, de new Judge assures you that she holds
de old, dearly departed Judge in the highest esteem. (Departed to his
Canadian homeland. Really. Not dead at all. Just like Fidel Castro. You,
and all the rest of her newly inherited loyal flunkies can look forward to
a smooth transition, with no interruption in your daily intake of illogic
and bad taste.
Her Honor is inclined, however, to take issue
with your use of the word “pig” in what she can only assume is
a pejorative sense. Have the accomplishments of the many hardworking
Swinish-Americans over the last twenty-five years failed to impress
themselves upon you, sir? How can such prejudice continue to exist in this
day and age? Her Honor is deeply shocked and saddened, and must now wander
off for a moment to play McDonalds Sims
(http://www.mcvideogame.com/game-eng.html )to console herself
that the world is a friendly place still.
As for the personal
information you requested…well! It’s terribly flattering to be
asked, of course. For security reasons, Her Honor is not permitted to give
detailed information about her location and identity. She doesn’t
think it can hurt, however, to let you know that many people have favorably
compared her to Angelina Jolie. (Though, admittedly, that was in relation
to her last three choices of husband.)
Her Honor thanks you for
your loyalty to the site, hopes she has answered all your questions, and
invites you, in conclusion, to watch an offensive informational cartoon
about George Washington.
(http://youtube.com/watch?v=pc9y5ayeeb4 )
Thank
you!
De (New) Judge
Dear Judged > Archive
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