Dan Hull of What About Clients (http://www.whataboutclients.com/) has presented on his blog a handy list of 7 things to do if you want to become an ineffective attorney.



1. Be risk-averse at all times. Clients have come to expect this from their lawyers. It's tradition. Honor it.





2. Tell the client only what it can't do. Business clients are run by business people who take risks. They need to be managed, guided, stopped. Don't encourage them.



3. Whatever you do, don't take a stand, and don't make a recommendation. (You don't want to be wrong, do you?)



4. Treat the client as a potential adversary at all times. Keep a distance.



5. Cover yourself. Write a lot to the client. Craft lots of confirming letters which use clauses like "it is our understanding", "our analysis is limited to..." and "we do not express an opinion as to whether..."



6. Churn up extra fees with extra letters and memoranda and tasks. Milk the engagement. (If you are going to be a weenie anyway, you might as well be a sneaky weenie.)



7. As out-house counsel, you are American royalty. Never forget that.



According to legend, this list was found in an abandoned church and dated back to the mid-19th Century. Hull casts doubts on the legend because of the word "weenie," but the list is still worth contemplating.