When in court, do as the lawyers do. That goes even for football players. Chad Johnson, formerly known as Ochocinco, was asked by Broward County Circuit Judge Kathleen McHugh whether he was satisfied with his lawyer. His attorney had been negotiating things so the athlete would not have to spend time in jail despite head-butting reality TV star and ex wife Evelyn Lozada, and breaking the terms of his probation. In response, he said he was satisfied, and then slapped his lawyer’s butt, as athletes do to each other on the field. The court laughed, but the judged did not.

“I don’t know that you’re taking this whole thing seriously. I just saw you slap your attorney on the backside. Is there something funny about what’s going on here today?” demanded the judge. “The whole courtroom was laughing. I’m not going to accept these plea negotiations. This isn’t a joke.”

Johnson failed to appease her with his apology. “This is your courtroom. I have no intent to make this a joke. It’s not funny. My life is in shambles right now and I try my best to laugh and keep a smile on my face.”

No dice, pal. She hauled him away for probation violation and determined he had to spend it in jail.